A long time ago, I married. I was so very young and messed up and just lost a child and was on a long road to nowhere. When I awoke from my daze I realized this isn’t who I am, the type of Mother I wanted to be, the kind of wife I wanted to be and more importantly the woman I aspired to be. I made decisions before the marriage and after in utter haste, out of emotional response to this awakening that I regret. I believed then that I was setting things right, doing the best for my children and I was again mistaken.

Every moment since I have paid that price dearly. Unable to shake that mistake from my lifes record I missed out on weddings, births, deaths and very crucial relationships. I wish I could turn back the hand of time or write a letter to my younger self and warn of the future outcomes to hasty, emotional decisions but I cannot….

As another page turns in my life of unfortunate events, I digress to a state of humbleness, and wonder if they will ever forgive and remember the real Mother they once had….who knows but time

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